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Who’s On First? Inside the ‘Operation Geronimo’ War Room

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There's been a lot of confusion over the military codename used to kill Osama bin Laden. Some say "Geronimo" was the mission, some say the target, and some say both. We hope President Obama and his staff weren't as confused as the rest of us. Here's the scene we imagine in Obama's war room after the mission was accomplished.

"Geronimo-E KIA."

"Who or what is Geronimo?"

"Geronimo was the mission."

"You mean the mission died?"

"No, the mission was a success."

"So the mission was to kill Geronimo."

"No, Geronimo was the mission."

"So it was Geronimo's mission?"

"No, Obama's mission."

"Obama's mission to kill Geronimo?"

"No, Obama's mission to kill Osama."

"So Geronimo wasn't involved at all?"

"No, Geronimo was the mission."

"I thought Osama was the mission."

"He was."

"So Osama was the mission to kill Geronimo."


"Osama was the mission to kill Obama?"

"No, no!"

"Geronimo was the mission to kill Obama?"


"Then who did Geronimo want to kill?!"

"Geronimo wasn't there! He's dead!"

"So the mission succeeded?"


"The mission to kill Geronimo?"

"Oh, I give up!!"

"Well, it's a good thing Geronimo didn't give up. Nobody likes a quitter."

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