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Moya-Smith: A Zombie Pipeline Worth Only 35 Jobs and a Pissed, Rich GOP

The Keystone XL Pipeline is slated to transport nearly a million barrels of dirty oil per day from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico.

America’s rich sounder of elected GOP swine are indeed learning what it truly feels like to fail – and to be rocked hard on the knuckles with that thing they know little about called rejection. The Republican health care bill has been defeated, and now the opulent are seriously pissed, and when the rich get pissed they go harder and faster and meaner, completely savage, if only to prove they are bona fide gentry, American royalty – kings, queens, princes – because their wealth has crowned them as such. But those chintzy crowns were whipped off their heads last week, which means that sometime recently, somewhere in D.C., some poor maid or butler or both suffered the full might of a faux American monarch who couldn’t get it up and had to make excuses as to why he just couldn’t perform for the American people.

That’s the GOP and that’s Trump. President Orange. He is the typical cocky braggart who promises that “oh, you’re so going to like this” and “I’m so good” and “watch, you’re going to be so pleased,” but when it comes time to deliver the guy’s got every excuse as to why it didn’t go down that way. And that’s the problem with the wildly rich. Because money has granted them all-access passes to basically anything they desire – mansions, Maseratis, massive amounts of milkshakes to bring all the young skin-terns to their yard – when they do hear “no,” or when they fail, especially publicly, they get desperate and angry and blow heaps of money on lavish trips and gaudy things and they whack the hell out of golf balls and scream at waiters because their cocktail doesn’t have enough ice and they resurrect dead pipelines to slight the liberals who blocked their rotten bill.


Possibly because they wreak to high hell of failure, but most likely because they are greedy jackals, the GOP is pushing through the nasty Keystone XL pipeline, which is hardly the job creator President Orange and his cronies tout it as:

“The State Department also estimates that about 16,100 additional jobs will be created during the construction via firms awarded contracts for materials and services,” wrote Matt Egan of CNN Money. “However, once Keystone is completed, only 35 permanent employees would be needed to operate the pipeline along with 15 temporary contractors. So, the Keystone XL isn't expected to be a boom for the job market by any stretch.”

RELATED: Video: Watch President Barack Obama Reject the Keystone XL Pipeline

Naturally, the filthy rich will deny these numbers. And they’ll create their own bullshit narrative on the matter. Right. There’s a reason these shills are called “filthy rich.” To be THAT rich you have to be filthy, at least some of the time, and the filthiest among them are the richest among them. Their accountants are known to suffer frequent mental and physical breakdowns from all the cash that floods in like gushing blood. And it won’t solely be the accountants who suffer the pissed-off prosperous. The opulent privileged will now go full bore open war on the poor, sick, and persecuted, even harder than before. You watch. Still, I’m left wondering: didn’t their Christ say to protect these people? What the hell are their pastors with their private jets and priests with their molestation cover-up duties saying to them on Sundays anyway? “Go, my flock, and take whatever the hell you want and don’t worry about God. He forgives you”? Jeezus.

But why would the rich-elected care about you? Or me? It’s not their water that’ll be poisoned. It’s not their kids that’ll get sick. Nope. Their kids will be at prep school or Harvard or Yale donning those foul red MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN lids, shouting at woke minorities about big government and welfare, as mommy and daddy pay their $4,000-a-month rent and foot their booming credit card bills, and then at Thanksgiving dinner the whole fucking family will suck down bottles of water at $219 a pop.

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A homeless man in Washington, D.C.

A homeless man in Washington, D.C.

I’ve only recently encountered the truly privileged and the truly affluent. I relocated to Washington, D.C., not long ago. Fearless rats. Tailored suits. Homeless everywhere. Shit show central. It’s a hell of a sight to watch as an army of smug, wealthy middle-aged men and women step over a homeless man sitting outside CVS by DuPont Circle as he asks for “anything you can spare.” The poor and houseless live openly in tents in freezing temperatures. Some sleep in banks near ATM machines to escape the unrelenting east coast chill. Meanwhile, just across the circle, at Bar DuPont, Trump trolls shout loudly about how they believe in the business magnate-turned POTUS. “He’s going to build that goddamn wall, you watch,” a man blurts before quaffing down more gin. But I imagine such unshakeable faith has been shaken, even if just a bit, because Trump and House Speaker Paul Ryan from Wisconsin failed miserably to drum up the votes needed to kill Obamacare.

RELATED: Trump Loves Keystone XL

When the bill died, when Ryan was forced to say the words “Obamacare is the law of the land,” a new unholy plan was set into motion: if they can’t kill the Affordable Care Act then they’ll rise from the dead a pipeline Mr. Obama, their enemy, killed and buried. Some will say, though, the pipeline wasn’t dead and gone, just in limbo, but only pro-oil and gas warlocks will believe that because it’s their political incantations that kept its savage spirit alive.

The Keystone XL pipeline, the zombie, is poised to do as zombies do. Infect. Wreak havoc. Gnaw on health and wellness like flesh ripped from bone. And, after the devastation and death, there’s always some guy, a narrow-minded dipshit, running the show who doesn’t know what happened, how it went so wrong, even though he knew the risks, because no system is flawless, yet he takes no blame, points fingers, in the meantime millions suffer, millions get sick, and all hell breaks loose.

And somehow “we told you so” just doesn’t suffice.

When the dead stupid kill, who’s to blame?

Simon Moya-Smith

Simon Moya-Smith

Simon Moya-Smith, Oglala, is the Culture Editor at Indian Country Media Network. Follow him on Twitter @SimonMoyaSmith.