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How Did I Miss That? Therapist Shot; Brain-Eating Amoebas

WSVN reported from North Miami, Florida, that there has been an addition to the list of things that cannot be done while black: therapy.

Police answered a call about a man with a gun threatening suicide. The man was an autistic patient who wandered away from his group home carrying a toy truck. Therapist Charles Kinsey was lying on his back with both hands in the air trying to explain that his patient posed no danger…when he was shot in the leg.

No gun was found.

My Republican cousin Ray Sixkiller said I was being unfair to the cop. “When,” he wanted to know, “was the last time you saw a big black guy with a beard who turned out to be a therapist?”

About as likely as a big Indian guy wearing a ribbon shirt….

Shooting a therapist with both hands in the air was not the oddest police news this week.

NBC reported that Officer Ernest Martinez was fired from the Driscoll, Texas Police Department when he tried to pass off an ordinary dog for his trained “K-9 unit” named Easter.

Now the city has two problems. They need to find Easter, because the real trained K-9 cost the city $2,000 and was not microchipped.

They also need a home for the imposter, who seems to be a nice enough dog even though not trained for police work.

“Three problems,” Cousin Ray remarked. “They need to hire a new K-9 officer to handle the dog…if they find the dog.” The District Attorney has not decided whether Officer Martinez would be charged in the disappearance of Easter, but another K-9 officer also lost his job this week.

The Associated Press reported that San Juan, Texas police officer Juan Cerillo, Jr. has been charged with animal cruelty after the death of his “K-9 unit,” a Belgian Malinois named Rex, from being left in an unmarked police vehicle while temperatures were in the nineties.

WFLA reported that a Garrett, Indiana 14 year old has been detained in connection with an incident that occurred while he was babysitting two neighbors, ages five and three.

Some of the babysitter’s “friends” showed up and they all got to drinking…

Damage to the apartment included broken toilets (2), a TV, and a window. Worse, the teenagers put the 3-year-old in a washing machine and turned it on. Then they did the same with the dryer.

The 3-year-old had bruises all over her body and the 5-year-old told what really happened after the babysitter claimed he had taken the children to the park and the younger girl had fallen off the merry-go-round.

Why was it cool to run a child through a washer and a dryer? Because some rocket scientist made a YouTube video doing the same thing with an animal.

“It could have been worse.” Cousin Ray was glum. “It could have been the microwave.”

The Texas Department of State Health Services issued a public warning about danger from a “brain-eating amoeba,” after a Harris County teenager became the ninth recorded infection resulting in primary amoebic meningoencephalitis (PAM) since 2005. Eight of the persons infected died.

The Health Department stated that closing public areas to swimming is not practical because the amoeba is found everywhere—sometimes even in tap water—but infections are extremely rare. To minimize risk, stay out of warm, stagnant water.

“Brain-eating amoebas?” Cousin Ray had not heard of brain eating amoebas, but he wondered if that could explain what happened in Indiana?

CNN Money reported that Apple is filming a reality TV show that pits software developers against each other for the chance to be mentored and funded by Silicon Valley experts. Naturally, the casting call was limited to developers using IOS. The show will be called “Planet of the Apps.”

The South China Morning Post reported that crunching numbers from a dating app, Coffee Meets Bagel, shows the world’s most desperate singles are found in Hong Kong. The app has been running up numbers and has smoked Tinder, which is based primarily on geographical proximity, by screening for tastes and traits that might predict compatibility. Cousin Ray pointed out helpfully that, in Hong Kong, everybody is close. Geography doesn’t do much screening.

Other dating apps offer political screening. The New York Post reported that Trumpsingles promises to “make dating great again” for users concentrated in Los Angeles, New York, and (naturally) Washington, D.C.

The dating app from the opposite side of Trumpsingles is Maple Match. The purpose is to find a Canadian spouse if Trump takes over in the U.S. Maple Match has a waiting list, and it also uses the tagline “making dating great again.”

Moving to game apps, Reuters reported that clerics in Saudi Arabia, seat of the ultraconservative Wahhabi sect of Islam that has given sharia law a bad name among those who interact with Islam only though TV, have renewed a 15 year old fatwa against Pokemon, although they deny the renewal is related to the worldwide popularity of Pokemon Go.

The original fatwa held that Pokemon is blasphemous in that it promotes the theory of evolution and uses non-Islamic religious symbols, including Shinto, Freemasonry, and Christianity.

“Evolution?” Cousin Ray was gobsmacked. “I guess they don’t study much biology in the desert.”

The Internet was crackling with claims that NASA cut a video feed from the International Space Station to suppress the discovery of a UFO. NASA claimed that the cameras were on a normal rotation and there was no human being at the controls.

I believe NASA. No human being would blow the opportunity to prove there is intelligent life in the universe.

Cousin Ray asked don’t I mean besides on earth?

No, I mean intelligent life has yet to be discovered.

Proving that point, we need to face that Hillary Clinton represents the establishment in a change election and that means the contest is Donald Trump’s to lose. Our future president’s latest affront to U.S. diplomacy is his promise to do a heart transplant on the NATO treaty by adding an invisible Trump condition to Article Five, which has always promised that an attack on one is an attack on all.

According to The New York Times, Trump warns NATO members that—should they be attacked—he will examine their conduct and come to their defense only if they have been meeting what he sees as their obligations to the U.S.

Cousin Ray told me to chill out, because it was not that long ago Trump wanted to withdraw from NATO entirely.

Secretary of State John Kerry had his diplomatic neutrality severely tested when he appeared at a joint press conference with the new U.K. Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

Johnson, former Mayor of London, is often called “the Donald Trump of the U.K.,” because of his strange hair and his populist politics combined with upper class birth. Like Trump, he has built his political career on racism and xenophobia and a loose relationship with the truth. That relationship was on full display as he led the campaign in favor of Brexit, won, and watched his assurances to the voters go up in smoke within a week.

Johnson’s promises of no serious impact on ordinary Brits from Brexit were about as likely as Trump’s promises to re-open coal mines without any buyers for coal, but the suddenness of the plunge in British currency and the economic fallout made Johnson toxic enough that he did not make an expected run for Prime Minister.

The new Prime Minister, Theresa May, appointed Johnson Foreign Secretary, she said, as a gesture to party unity. Cynics thought she gave him a portfolio unsuited to his abilities to wipe him off the political map.

So it was that Boris Johnson—the Donald Trump of the U.K.—had the obligatory press conference with the U.S. Secretary of State to reaffirm the “special relationship” between the countries.

Kerry struggled not to react as reporters savaged Johnson with his own words. President Obama’s “ancestral dislike of the British Empire.” Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s persona as “sadistic nurse in a mental hospital.”

Of a diplomatic mission to the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Johnson predicted “the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.”

He did disagree with Trump’s warm feelings for Vladimir Putin, observing that “Despite looking a bit like Dobby the House Elf, he is a ruthless and manipulative tyrant.”

He claimed Queen Elizabeth loves the Commonwealth “because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies.”

Former President George W. Bush? “A cross-eyed Texan warmonger, unelected, inarticulate, who epitomizes the arrogance of American foreign policy.”

As reporters asked Johnson if he should apologize and Kerry struggled to maintain his composure, the Foreign Secretary admitted he had insulted too many people for such a lengthy apology tour and so he would smooth over relationships one at a time.

Seeing the Trumpness in Johnson, Cousin Ray was still optimistic.

“It may be Trump’s election to lose,” he said, “but Trump is doing his best to lose it.”