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Dear Adam Sandler: I've Picked Your Indian Name

Are you reading this, Adam Sandler? Marc Yaffee has some thoughts about 'The Ridiculous Six,' and he's picked out your 'Indian name.'

Dear Adam Sandler,

First of all thanks for the very funny movies you made in the past. The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore and The Waterboy are some classic comedies that I and many others have watched more than once. Obviously, you don’t need to be reminded of this. You can log on to your bank account and see just how successful these movies were.

I was very excited to hear you would be working in New Mexico to produce the first movie in your four-picture Netflix deal. The fact that you were casting a large group of Native actors and extras for The Ridiculous Six was a good sign. Diversity in films is always good and we have plenty of good Native actors willing and ready to work. Hell, your production company even hired a cultural advisor. I believe his name was Bruce. I’ve never heard of an Indian named Bruce. Was he actually an Indian or your cousin who had taken a Native American studies class? I don’t know but on the surface it appeared you were trying to do the right things.

RELATED:Native Actors Walk off Set of Adam Sandler Movie After Insults to Women, Elders

Unfortunately, there was just one problem with the whole movie: you wrote it. I only read a small portion of the script but it was like taking one bite of tainted meat or one sip of rotten milk (hey, wait, I’m not eating meat and I’m lactose intolerant). It stinks. It’s not only offensive to Native Americans, it’s offensive to ALL Americans. Okay, especially Native Americans. Not every Native actor or extra walked off the set but I have a feeling that when it comes out on Netflix, the rest of them will wish they had. 

If you want to lampoon and stereotype a people for laughs, at least be satirical and brilliant, instead of ignorant and unfunny. And next time you really want to Insult Indians, go old school and hire Italians and Mexicans to play them. At least no Indians would have to feel embarrassed about being in your movie. After all, our people have already suffered enough.

We haven’t heard a peep out of you either since the controversy began. Vanilla Ice has come to your defense. When Vanilla Ice is running point to defend your comedy, then you are really in trouble. We would sure like to hear your thoughts on the whole thing. In the meantime while you remain silent on this topic, I would like to propose an Indian name for you:

"Runs From Controversy." 

A marginally funny, unfamous Native comedian,
Marc Yaffee