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Christopher Columbus's PowerPoint of Evil

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After a very long trip, we've finally made it to your shores, we bring with us greed, corruption and disease by the spores.

We'll conceive Manifest Destiny for ourselves so strategically, it doesn't have a place for you though, and will end for you tragically.

You taught us to eat and survive when our lives were at stake, when we gain your trust we'll repay you with a smallpox outbreak.

When winter comes and your elders and children are cold, we'll give them nice fuzzy blankets to hold.

Gifts straight from the heart that are soft as a fox, did I mention they're knowingly infected with pox?

The smaller your numbers the more land we can claim, its nothing personal its just the name of the game.

Claiming good land and attempting to build wealth, is a right only for white settlers capable in health.

Your land is reserved and you cannot leave the space, we'll use force to make you stay so you all know your place.

As your wardens we'll make you dependent on what we give you, we will not let you hunt and our rations will feed few.

You see its a system of dependence that we want to create, through future generations to be all bound by fate.

A fate we've created to always keep you dependent, on the promises and lies of a deceitful government.

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You'll go from a proud nation that in every way was thriving, to living in third world poverty and barely surviving.

We'll take away your beliefs and forbid your spirituality, our religious propaganda will take the form of Christianity.

To conquer you fully we must not only have your land, but you must take our beliefs and accept our God’s hand.

The Black Hills is one of your most spiritual places, so well taint it with our big ugly ass faces. When Mount Rushmore is built it will serve as a symbol that your hand of spirituality is now under our thimble.

This spiritual conquest is done when you all worship Christ, so we'll leave it up to your people to continue the heist.

We'll build churches on reservations complete with a bell, so tell all your non- believers they'll surely burn in hell.

Now lets have our great feast and kindly break bread, and since you don't speak English yet forget everything I said.

For our sinister plans don't benefit you at all, and I await the day when your Great Nations fall.


Christopher Columbus

Brian Vallie (Crow/Chippewa Cree), wishes to live in a world free of hipster headdresses and oppressive red tape towards Natives. He resides in Los Angeles, currently writing his first novel, Born Again Heathen, a dark comedy. When he's not writing you can find him playing "zombie" with his 5-year-old son James, zoning out, exercising, or traipsing around Los Angeles with his high school sweetheart, Janae.